Our Dating Children?

I was directed to the video below by a church friend.  The question that is asked is an important one and Pastor Mark's answer is sure to generate some discussion.  This, however, is an important issue.  For Christians, when do we allow our children to date.  What is proper dating?  Much of the dating that goes on by Christian teens does little to prepare them for a healthy, committed marriage relationship.  Are we doing our children a disservice by telling them when they are young to act like the world in dating and then changing course and telling them not to marry like the world.

The Bible tells us to train up a child in the way he should go.  Notice it doesn't say let them experience everything and learn from failing.  There is a time to learn through failure.  But seeing the problem with marriage and divorce in the culture and in the church I think we should finally recognize that the date/break up philosophy of the world is failing the church and it is time for a change.

What kind we do?  We need to be like the Boy Scouts and Be prepared.  Good dating practices don't just happen, they are learned.  1) encourage your children at an early age to develop friendships with all kinds of people.  Isolation with one relationship is not always healthy.  2) Teach them to focus on their school work, family and friends instead of pushing them to dating relationships.  3) Dads, take out your nearly ready to date daughter and show her what a date should look like.  Treat her well, open her door, do more than just sit mindlessly in front of a movie screen in the dark.  Help her to have high expectations for both the date and the datee.  If you have a son, let him see you on a date with your spouse or maybe even double date.  4) Dads, insist that you get to meet the dates.  My father in-law insisted that I call him and ask for permission to take his daughter out.  Wise practice in deed.  I would imagine a low character boy would run from that.  Make the first date a family experience.  You learn what your boy/girl friend will be like in the future by seeing how they interact with mom and dad and siblings.  4)  Prayer NOW - don't wait till you kids are 15 and hormones are raging. Pray and ask God to bring into their life godly relationships.  Pray for their future spouse.  Pray for wisdom when they are older.  5)  Establish Clear boundaries and hold to them.  Dating is not a right.  It comes with maturity and wisdom.  Some of your kids will mature faster than others.  If your teen can't handle the freedom or make wise choices you may have to make some adjustments.  Curfews are not meant to be broken.  6) Trust God - God is sovereign even over your child's dating practices.  If you have been wise and you taught them well, don't fear. 


I am not looking forward to those days of dating.  But they are coming.  Are you prepared.